Friday 26 September 2014

Misconceptions in most newbies - my personal view

<I know a similar post was made some time ago that included the misconceptions of others.. while here I focus more on the misconceptions some newbies fell into, So some points may b similar>

With respect to India at least (I am Indian so i can only know the culture here and can only share what I feel or my view) , only recently, may b for the past few years, we have started to hear about BDSM an that too 99% only in internet... And the thing is that the source of what BDSM is mostly thru porn... (I hoe most will accept that more indians watch porn than being part in community sites like fetlife).
Having said that any movie (let alone BDSM porn, even the mainstream holly/bolly or anyother woods) should be exaggerated or in other words lot more than real life to keep the fans or the viewer interested... - be it some masala daces or some fights or some science fiction - the makers of any movie have to keep stuff above real life... and so is the BDSM porn - mostly they shoot in a complete private place where only the crew goes r the whole area is rented for the time of shooting and to give the look of a public place they might post some members on the sides of the camera view... But from the viewers point of view it sounds like people do BDSM openly in US... (yes there are few BDSM bars in US or some european countries) which is completely wrong... many many couples practice it in their home even in India... Just that we Dont know what my neighbor do in their bedroom or in their privacy...
All we get to see is the exaggerated porn... of course even sharukh or salman or any actor for that matter had acted with many partners / heroines and so will b the BDSM porn stars... and like in even mainstream cinema, there are love triangles or exhibitionist item girl; Similarly a porn star acting in a BDSM movie cant move around in a 8 foot saree the whole movie but people assume all slaves or submissive women to be exhibitionist in public.
And even worse case is, many doms think that just by claiming dom gives them the right to use multiple women, or use some limited time contract <as made popular by the 50 shades (of crap) trilogy> as if its their birth right to use a sub for some limited time and as if upgrading to a new mobile or gadget, move to another girl... which i dont agree on personally... as simple as that...
AS almost every one thinks the same way, newbies think that if i hv interest in this D/s relationship i have to accept the fact that all doms will leave me after some days and hece make the most out of what I get...

But here I really want to make it on record that I had seen many many real lfe monogamous couples who do practice only one partner style Real life BDSM relationship, either in their marriage or in a live-in basis... Hope at least those newbie subs who get the chance to read this will wait for the right dom and not rush into some abusive relationship if they prefer a monogamous relationship, where they can look like any other loving couple in front of their family and friends but be a D/s in their bedroom or in their privacy...

I know some will say its double standards and slave means to be caged etc crap but come on grow up guys... life is always social... just coz nowadays we spend more time in fb or fl etc., due to the fast life or most youngsters from small towns move to cities for corporate jobs, that dont mean any one can live completely devoid of their parents and relatives... the same applies to subs too...
One should understand love, care, gaining the trust and complete protection (if need be) and providing complete satisfaction, not just in bed but in all aspects of a realistic life is the first and foremost quality of a Dominant than just beating up and using the girl as a fuck toy.
Any one can use whips, bamboo sticks, belts, etc... that dont mean they are a Dom / Master... its true possessiveness and gaining the complete trust and providing complete care and protection (if need be) and taking the sub to the next level not just as a sub but also as a person makes a person a dom. Without these qualities, its only Just female harassment... whether its just a internet relationship or a real life relationship....
This is what i see in my opinion. I m not preaching anything... and certainly i m not here for internet fun or timepass... So i had done lot of reading and conversed with many real life couples and this is what i understood to the small brain God had presented me with...
just my journal entry... and my personal view on how i want MY D/s relationship should be ow what are my responsibilities.... Sure there will be criticisms... as i m planing to post this in some groups too... <like i did in one other group and earned a lot of enemies lols and name callings ROFL> A lot most likely... lets see.. how far it goes in bad mouthing etc..

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